Dear Cory:

I’m a straight guy that sometimes gets hit on by gay guys. I don’t want to be rude. How do I handle this diplomatically?

-Straight & Polite in Dairyland

Dear S&P:

Cory is an ask-and-tell homosexual. So, of course that qualifies him to comment (not that lack of qualification would stop him) on your remarks about your possible response to being approached sexually by a man. Cory suspects a lot of straight guys assume they must be giving off something “gay” that the gay person picked up, and therefore feel their masculinity called into question. That is not necessarily the case, because “gaydar”, as we call it, is a very fallible instrument. The safest assumption is that you are just so damned gorgeous, such an icon of maleness, that the gay person would risk assault, ridicule, rudeness or death on the off-chance that you may wish to insert your member into one of his orifices, orientation notwithstanding.

On to your question: in Canada, where everyone is polite, straight men respond in the following way (almost word for word) to being sexually importuned by a gender-mate: “Good heavens, what a lovely compliment you have paid me! While I cannot accommodate your kind request because I am presently a heterosexual, I will canvass my most attractive friends and relatives to try to find you a rugged and hunky sexual partner. Please give me your address and telephone number! And if I should decide to experiment with a man, you will be the first person I will fuck. Promise. Have a great day!”

Cory offers these hints in the spirit of cross-cultural education.